Not the Same
by Edie Star
Summary: David Michael Thomas has crush on his best friend, Nicky Pike. Takes place several years after the BSC books, when Nicky and David Michael are in tenth grade.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:** The BSC and BSLS characters belong to Ann M. Martin, but she never wrote any slash, so I felt the need to. 

"I've got all the research done," says David Michael Thomas, as he takes a binder from the cluttered desk in his bedroom, "but I need someone to help me put it together, give it some flair."

His best friend, Nicky Pike, nods. He's always been better at English than Dave, and is happy to help him with his essay in exchange for batting tips so he can try out for the Stoneybrook High baseball team. "Sure" says Nick, agreeably. "Want a piece of gum?" he asks, digging in his pocket for the pack of Juicy Fruit he always carries.

Dave takes the piece of gum, and starts telling him something about Hamlet, but Nick isn't listening at all. He flops over on the bed and punches one of the pillows.

Dave puts down the binder, and with concern asks, "Are you okay?" as he sits cross-legged at the other end of the bed. Nick has an absolutely miserable look on his face, and Dave knows that until he can make Nick talk, no work will get done on the essay. He's used to dealing with Nick's moods, which have only gotten more intense since he started high school. Dave supposed that the triplets had snubbed him again, or that Margo had told on Nick for smoking with him and Lindsey DeWitt behind the baseball diamond last week. Those were the pitfalls of being a part of a large family, and as a middle child, Nick takes them harder than most. But this time it isn't about his family.

"Lindsey DeWitt won't go to the Snowflake Dance with me" Nick moans, running his hand angrily through his ruffled reddish hair.

"But she told you yes last week" Dave says, trying to cheer Nick up so they can get working on the essay. "Maybe she's playing hard to get."

Nick looks at Dave witheringly. "You mean she's playing 'let's be a bitch.' Apparently Betsy Sobak dared her to ask me so that Adam would get jealous, and ask Lindsey to the dance." Nick's shoulders slump. He's tired of being considered second-rate to his brothers. Having a girl use him as a pawn to get a date with _Adam_, of all people, is just one tooth in the saw that is cutting through his self-esteem. "Why do girls have to be so _stupid_?"

"Eh, girls, who needs them?" says Dave carelessly, and then he blushes. He's been looking at Nick, and his hair that is shining with red highlights under the overhead light, and the coppery eyelashes framing his slate blue eyes that seem like an overcast sky when he is sad. Nick is a lot prettier than some of the girls Dave knows. With this revelation coming to him, Dave can't look at Nick's face, so he stares at Nick's hands, their square fingernails, tiny freckles, and chestnut-coloured hairs that poke out from creamy white skin. He's not ashamed, because he thinks he's always known this. Dave remembers a dream he once had, of playing catch with Nick in the Pikes' back yard, and how their skin warmed under the sunshine. He remembers waking up tangled in his blankets, and with the thick juice of sexual release on his stomach. At the time he just passed it off as a random wet dream, and threw his pajamas in the hamper. Now he thinks he knows what that dream really meant, and it makes sense to him that he would be in love with his best friend.

Dave frowns a little. He knows that he's not gay. After all, he recently got to second base with Nancy Dawes, and he liked it a lot, and pressured her for more. He hasn't ever thought of another boy this way either. Maybe its just Nick. Dave is at peace with that thought, but gets jittery from sitting so intoxicatingly close to him.

"Have you ever thought that maybe you just don't like girls?" Dave blurts out, and immediately regrets it. His stomach sinks when Nick says:

"Who do you think I am, Byron or something? I'm not gay. I might look like him, and he might be my brother, but we're not the same."

They aren't the same, and Dave knows it. On the night of the Snowflake Dance, he smiles when he sees Nick dancing with Becca Ramsey. It's a crooked, sad, smile though, and he needs to leave the gym to get some fresh air. Dave shivers outside in the clear winter night, and is about to light a cigarette when he notices Byron Pike standing by himself and staring at his shoes. With his strong pitcher's arms, Dave pushes Byron against a wall, and kisses him hard, running his hand through the thick reddish hair. Byron kisses back, and Dave pretends that he can taste Juicy Fruit.


	2. Chapter 2

The pale winter sunlight streams in through Dave's bedroom window, and he groans, wishing that he had closed the curtains before he fell asleep. He rolls over and looks at the clock. It's already eleven, and he knows he should get up. Instead, he just wants to throw the blanket over his head and _die_. What was he thinking last night? It was a nice kiss, and he still has a giddy feeling in his stomach, remembering Byron's warm breath on his cold cheeks, but _fuck_. Byron has a boyfriend, and Dave doesn't like him, he likes Nick, but he's pretty sure that Nick likes Becca now…

There's no time to think about any of this, because someone is knocking on his bedroom door. "Can I come in and borrow some batteries for my Game Boy?" asks his stepbrother, Andrew. Dave grunts, and Andrew enters the room. He starts digging around in the top drawer of the desk before asking where Dave keeps his batteries. Dave climbs out of bed to go look for the pack of batteries that he stashed somewhere, and Andrew looks at him sympathetically.

"What happened?" he asks, quietly. "You look like shit." Andrew blushes, because he's usually soft-spoken, but since he started middle school he's learned how to throw a few swear words into casual conversation. They don't quite suit him, and he seems embarrassed to use most of them.

Dave contemplates telling the younger boy some of what happened. He needs to talk to someone or he'll burst, so it may as well be Andrew. "I kissed someone that I shouldn't have last night at the Snowflake Dance, and I'm pretty sure that Nick is going to be mad at me."

Andrew looks a bit surprised. "Who was it?" he whispers.

Dave gulps and tries to think of a plausible lie. He can't tell an eleven-year old that he kissed another _boy_. "One of the Pikes." It's true. Byron _is_ a Pike, but he hopes that Andrew assumes that he kissed Vanessa or Margo. "And it felt really good. But they're with someone else, so I can't kiss them again."

Andrew nods, and mulls this information over. He's never kissed anyone, but he has touched himself at night while thinking about kissing Nina Marshall. Even _thinking_ about touching himself causes Andrew's face to turn bright pink. Dave briefly wonders what Andrew is thinking that makes him look so uncomfortable, but forgets about it as he wallows in his own angst.

"I think you should come clean with Nick," says Andrew shyly. He's nervous to suggest anything to Dave, because Dave is so much older, and he admires him greatly. Andrew often wishes that he could be like Dave when he's fifteen, and he wants Dave to treat him as an equal. He hopes that he didn't sound too eager to help.

Dave smiles stiffly. "I probably should," he says, with a worried little tremor in his voice. "Thanks, Andrew."

Andrew's eyes grow wide. Dave, his big brother, is afraid of something? And he's taking a suggestion from _him_? It's all too much for Andrew, and he snatches the batteries from the bookshelf, and bolts from the room feeling suddenly very grown up.

Dave works on the essay that is due after holiday break, while he tries to get up the courage to call Nick. _What am I going to say?_ He thinks. _Hey Nick, I kissed your brother last night because I wished I was kissing you?_ Finally, with trembling fingers, he picks up the phone and dials the Pikes' phone number. Mrs. Pike answers, and Dave is secretly relieved.

"David Michael?" she says, one of the few people who can get away with calling him that now. "Nicky's gone out to Washington Mall to finish his Christmas shopping. I can take a message if you'd like."

Dave declines her offer, and hangs up. His Mom is surprised when he asks her to drive him to the mall. "But you hate shopping" she says as she starts up the car.

Dave shrugs. "I still need to get presents for Kristy and Andrew." In addition to looking for gifts, he's planning to search for Nick. When they arrive at the mall, Dave dashes for the food court. If he knows Nick, he's probably scarfing down chili dogs and fries. However, Dave is sadly mistaken. He does spot the reddish-brown hair unique to the Pike family, but it's not Nick. Byron waves at him, and Dave wants to disappear into his hoodie. He does have his pride, so he sets his shoulders straight like Kristy taught him, and walks over to Byron. Jeff Schafer is walking toward him with a cup of coffee, and Dave wants nothing more than to go back in time twenty-four hours, and to not kiss Byron.

"Hey, sweetie" Jeff says to Byron with his west coast accent full of sunny, elongated vowels and laid back consonants. He turns to Dave, and smiles with his white teeth glaring against his fading California summer tan. "Hey, Dave. Long time, no see." Dave forces a grin, and shakes hands with Jeff. "I'm going to run into one of these stores and get your gift, Byron," he says as he passes the coffee to Byron, and dashes off.

This time it's Dave's turn to stand alone and look at his shoes. "I'm sorry about last night," he mumbles to the tiled floor. His body is heavy with awkwardness, and he burrows his hands into the sleeves of his hoodie.

"It's okay" Byron says comfortingly. "I was lonely, and kind of frustrated with Jeff. He was supposed to fly in last week, but changed his ticket so he could get a flight at the same time as his sister. I don't mind that you kissed me. You're better than most fifteen year olds."

Dave is oddly flattered that Byron thinks he's a good kisser, but he feels the need to set things straight. "But I'm not…" he begins, before Byron cuts him off.

"…Sure of your sexuality" Byron incorrectly finishes the sentence for him, sounding every bit the GSA representative that he is. "And that's okay. You don't need to worry, I'm not going to out you or anything. Whatever decision you make is a valid decision, and you don't need to be ashamed."

Dave's face burns with a strange cross between annoyance and humiliation. Out him! As if there's anything to out! He wants to give Byron a piece of his mind, but decides against it.

Dave wanders through the mall for a while, picking up a leather organizer for Kristy and a new video game for Andrew. He sees Nick browsing the video games as well, and takes a deep breath. Nick's face is flushed from the heat of the store, and Dave has to hold back from pressing his lips to his bright pink cheek. The sentimental carols playing over the speaker system cause a warm liquid feeling to rise up in Dave's chest, and he's less than a breath away from spilling all of the feelings he meant to hide away. Fortunately, Nick starts talking.

"Hey, Dave!" he calls out. "Last night was crazy! Forget Lindsey, I think I might be able to get with Becca Ramsey. She let me go down her shirt last night." He raises his eyebrow lewdly. Dave laughs a little, but his heart is racing. Adrenaline kicks in, and he can't decide whether to run, or to stand like a deer in the headlights. He subconsciously chooses the latter.

Nick completely misreads his best friend's face. "Yeah, I'm surprised, too. I thought she had a thing for Jordan, but I guess I was wrong. How about you?" He elbows Dave in the ribs. "I saw you kissing someone outside the gym." Dave gasps, and then exhales in relief when he hears what Nick says next. "I couldn't see who it was in the dark, because you had them pushed up against the side of the building. But they were tall with short hair, and that sounds like Charlotte Johanssen. Am I right?"

Dave is overwhelmed with the absurdity of the situation. "A true gentleman never kisses and tells," he says, trying not to laugh and cry out in joy. Nick doesn't know that he kissed Byron! He thinks that he was with Charlotte! In his giddiness, Dave almost cries, "It was a good kiss! But I'd much rather kiss you!" But Nick is talking, and Dave uses discretion and decides to start listening to what his friend is saying. He tunes in to the middle of a sentence, and hears words that make his heart sink.

"…So I'm trying to decide if I should get Becca a Kwanzaa present. You know, something to show that I like her, but nothing too serious that says I _like_ her, even though I do. I don't want to scare her off, you know? Dave? You have any ideas?"

Dave's throat tightens. He can't push out any words. Nick and Becca? Of course, that would be more natural than Nick and Dave. Dave is crushed once again, and he's wondering how he's going to face Nick and Becca in the halls when school is back in session after winter break. He knows that he'll see them holding hands in the cafeteria, and he'll wish that Nick was holding his big pale hand instead of Becca's thin, dark one. He knows that every time he sees them together, it will feel like he's in a vacuum, having all of the air pulled out of his lungs. That's what it feels like _now_.

"I don't know, Nick" Dave pastes on a fake smile, and tries to play the part of a platonic friend. He puts a lot of effort into keeping a cheerful tone in his voice, but more effort is allocated to keeping his frustration in check. He really wants to punch something. Hard. "Maybe the new Noise in Analog album? I think she likes them."

"Thanks, bud" says Nick, and envelops him in a hug. A lump rises in Dave's throat. He will not allow himself to cry. Nick smells so good though, like dryer sheets and Ivory soap and the faint chemical edge of medicated shampoo. Dave just wants to rest his head on his shoulder, and weep. "You're a really good friend, you know that, right? Merry Christmas." Nick pats him gently on the back before letting him go.

Even though Dave was resolved not to cry, when he leaves the mall to wait for his mother to pick him up, he stands in he snow and lets a few tears fall before they roll onto his cheek and freeze.


	3. Chapter 3

Dave doesn't hear from Nick again until around two o'clock on New Year's Eve. "Are you going to the party tonight at the Braddocks?" Nick asks over the phone. "Their parents are out of town for the night, and said that they could have an overnight party if there was no drinking."

Dave sighs. He doesn't really want to go, because Nick will spend the whole night with Becca, and he'll end up stuck playing video games with Matt and Linny. Not that he dislikes video games or Matt and Linny, but he'd rather spend time with Nick, alone.

"You're in, right?" Nick says after a brief silence. "Bring Karen, too. I think that James Hobart likes her."

"Ew, she's only thirteen" Dave says, picturing his scrawny blonde stepsister with James the Australian stud.

"Young and fresh, just the way he likes them" Nicky says, and Dave gags a little.

Dave doesn't want to tell Karen about the party, but she'd been listening in on his call from the kitchen extension.

"Daddy!" Dave cringes when he hears Karen call out to her father, Watson. "Daddy, there's going to be an all night New Year's party at Haley and Matt's! I can go, right? Please? Pretty please with a cherry on top? Pretty pretty pretty please?" Her voice sounds like a chorus of a hundred dolphins holding a sing-a-long.

"All right," Watson sighs, obviously wishing that Karen could be at her mother's house for the holidays.

Watson drives Dave and Karen across town to the Braddock home, and as he drops them in the driveway he reminds Karen, "Elizabeth and I are going out to a party in Stamford tonight, so we won't be home until late. Kristy is looking after Emily Michelle, so she'll come pick you up at around one, okay sweetie?"

"Daddy!" Karen cries indignantly. "Nobody else is going to be leaving at one!"

"Nobody else is only thirteen" Watson says grimly.

"Claire Pike is only twelve" Karen says, hoping to gain the upper hand.

Dave likes to see Karen squirm a little. As a child, she was always petted and precious, the little princess of the Brewer-Thomas family. Her childish tricks don't work any more, mostly because Dave won't let them. He closes the argument by saying, "Mrs. Pike will probably make Claire go home at around twelve thirty."

"See, Karen" says Watson, firmly. "You won't be the first to leave the party."

She shoots him her most winning smile. "Dave will be coming with me, right?"

"Dave is fifteen, and he's responsible, so he can stay all night if he likes" says Watson. "When you're fifteen, we'll see about situations like this."

Karen is still pouting as they walk up to the front door. "You owe me one for not throwing a fit and having Daddy make you come home with me," she tells Dave.

Dave tries not to laugh. Karen can be so ridiculous and self-righteous sometimes.

She continues. "You're going to let me set you up with Charlotte Johanssen, so I can tell everyone what a great matchmaker I am. I heard from somewhere…" Karen gulps a little, because that somewhere was in her kitchen, listening to a phone call between Andrew and Claire Pike, where Claire mentioned that Dave kissed Charlotte at the high school dance. "It doesn't matter where I heard it, but I heard that you kissed Charlotte. So it will be easy, because you already like her. So you just need to give me credit for it, okay?"

Horrified, Dave can do nothing but agree. They go into the house, and Dave is suddenly too warm. He can't tell if it's from being embarrassed by Karen, or just the heat of too many people inside. Matt slaps him on the back, and Dave signs to him asking if there are any cold drinks downstairs in the fridge. Dave's sign language isn't too good though, and he's accidentally said "lesbian" instead of "drink." Matt laughs the hoarse bark that he uses when amused, and leads Karen and Dave down into the rec room. A few of the Pikes are there, as well as Jeff Schafer and James Hobart. Charlotte is sitting on the floor and holding a lively conversation with Becca, who is sitting in Nick's lap. Matt indicates that the others are watching a movie in the living room. Dave closes his eyes for a second, and gathers enough enthusiasm to call out a cheerful hello.

"Dave!" Becca squeals. She bounces up and down a little in Nick's lap. "Come over here!"

Dave flops onto the couch in between Nick and James. His leg brushes against Nick's and he casts his eyes downward. He doesn't have any time to think about it though, because Becca is bombarding him with questions.

"You helped Nick pick out my Kwanzaa gift, right?" Becca says in her infectiously bubbly voice. "I know that it's your taste in music, because Nick only listens to techno. Did you hear the hidden track on that album? It's amazing. I tried to get Jessi to listen to it, but she only listens to music by black artists. Something about staying true to her roots…I don't know. Hey, Dave? Do you know any good black artists I could recommend to her?" Becca takes a breath after talking so much, and Nick looks at her affectionately. Dave likes that soft look in Nick's eyes, and wants Becca to keep talking so that he can admire how Nick looks while he listens to her.

"I don't know, really" Dave says, trying to sound modest. Truthfully, he does know, and he does love talking about music. Sometimes he can be a bit of a snob that way. "If she likes world beats there's nobody better than Tree Mbauguay. For hip hop, I highly recommend Monroe Martinez, or Organik."

A soft, quiet voice pipes up from the floor. "Bec," says Charlotte, "if you're going to get Organik, get his first album, with the B-side remixed by Havana Versus Dirty Souf. It's the best hip hop out there. Very rare, but worth the search."

Dave is very impressed that someone else in Stoneybrook has even heard of Organik, let alone listened to the rare first album. He's a bit jealous of Char stealing his coveted spot as music expert, so he decides to bait her a little.

"What did you think of the new Black Spots album?" he asks her.

"Honestly, I liked them better before they sold out to a major record label" Char says. "Stacey McGill took me to see them in New York last year. They were playing a little hole in the wall, and I had to use her friend Mary Anne's ID to get in. They were so much better than when they played an all ages show at the stadium in Stamford. You have to listen to the Black Spots in an intimate setting or the sound is completely lost."

Nick winks at Becca as Char and Dave continue to talk. "Please tell me that you don't like Days Until Jersey," she says to him after he admits to liking some emo music. "All of their lyrics just scream of misogyny. I'll have to hate you forever." Char scowls a little, but her eyes dance flirtatiously.

Dave isn't sure how to respond. Charlotte is smart. He's not used to girls being clever when flirt with him. He's used to Nancy Dawes telling him how strong he is when he really isn't, or the time that Margo Pike cornered him and scared him away by saying, "You've been a bad boy. Go to my room." Dave's mind explodes with possible things to say, and he finally blurts out, "I'll have to hate you forever, because you listen to ska. I'm not the one who owns the entire discography of the Ska-munist Republic." He surreptitiously crosses his fingers, hoping it was the right thing to say, hoping that he isn't totally hopeless at making lighthearted jokes.

Char groans. "You win." Dave can't believe what he just heard. Charlotte Johanssen, the most ruthless member of the SHS debate team, let someone else have the last word.

_She likes me_, he thinks. He doesn't have much time to ponder this though, because Haley enters the room and announces that it's five minutes to midnight, and everyone better get into the living room for the countdown or she'll start kicking asses and taking names. With her muscular cheerleader's legs, Dave doesn't doubt that she could.

Everyone crowds around the TV to watch the lighted ball descend on Times Square. The room full of teenagers counts down the final ten seconds of the year.

"Five…" Dave calls out with the others. All the voices sound the same, except for Char's beside him. "Four…Three…Two…One! Happy New Year!"

Couples begin to exchange kisses. He can see James Hobart planting a kiss on Karen's bunnyish nose as she giggles. Claire Pike is madly blowing kisses in all directions, and Linny yells out that she's spreading cooties. Dave's eyes land on Nick and Becca, probably the only couple kissing _with tongue_. His heart sinks, and he looks down at his shoes. Someone tall kisses him on top of his head.

"Happy New Year, Dave" Char says gently.

Dave looks up. Charlotte smiles at him. "Don't worry, I don't think they'll last long. Nick's too brash for Becca. She needs someone more sensitive, you know?"

_Shit, is Char trying to set me up with Becca? _ Dave asks himself. _At least she doesn't think I was looking at Nick_.

Thankfully, Nick and Becca's relationship isn't a topic that really interests Char. "Come on, let's go into the kitchen and have a soda. What do you think of Haley's taste in music? Did you get a chance to look at her collection? Let's just say that it's a good thing that Matt is deaf."

Char keeps Dave in stitches, giving commentary on the bubblegum Top-40 pop Haley likes. Dave recognizes a few of the bands from the crap that Karen bops to in the family room. He remembers how she had fits of ecstasy when her favourite singer released a single called "Let's All Come In."

"Do you remember our game, David Michael?" she had squealed.

How could he forget Karen's insistence to play a scripted game when he'd rather just sit by himself with his Ninja Turtles? "Play that song again, and I'll fucking smash the CD."

Karen had fled from the room, screaming, "Daddy! David Michael used a _swear_!"

"Where's Karen?" a stern voice asks.

Had he been talking about Karen out loud? "Somewhere with James" Dave says, annoyed that his conversation with Char was interrupted. "Go ask Margo or someone."

"Look, I've been waiting in the car for half an hour, and you know that I can't stand tardiness." _Oh, no. It's Kristy_. Dave snaps around, and faces his angry sister. Their height difference makes it so that sitting on a stool, Dave is still taller than her. Even though she's short, Kristy is a force to be reckoned with.

"I'll help you look for her," Dave says, not wishing to incur the wrath of Kristy. He excuses himself to Charlotte, and leaves the kitchen.

Neither Kristy nor Dave can find Karen. She's not in the living room watching black and white movies with Jordan Pike and the Arnold twins, or painting her toenails in Haley's room with Haley, Margo, and Kerry. They think they see her in the rec room dancing with some of the guys, but its just Adam being a jackass in a blonde wig. Dave spots Jeff doing a little two-step outside the downstairs bathroom.

"I've been waiting forever to get in, but someone's been in there for nearly an hour," Jeff explains. "I'd use the upstairs one, but someone plugged the toilet."

Kristy starts to pound on the bathroom door. "Karen? Are you in there?"

There's a pause before a timid voice answers, "Yes."

Kristy uses an unnecessarily loud voice to ask if Karen is all right. There's no answer. She asks if Karen has diarrhea. Dave almost feels sorry for Karen, because Kristy's booming voice can be quite an embarrassment. There's a pause again. Karen slinks from the bathroom, with James Hobart behind her. Kristy looks a little surprised, but the look turns to horror when James leans over to pick something up off the tile floor.

He hands Karen her training bra and says, "Thanks, love. I'll see you around."

Kristy grabs Karen by the sleeve of her sweater and starts to drag her toward the door. Dave follows, because he knows that any punishment Kristy is going to give would be worse than anything Watson could ever think of. As much as he'd like to stay at the party, and even though he wishes the equivalent of military duty on Karen, he knows that he should go along to keep Kristy from getting _too_ carried away.

As Dave is pulled out of the house with his sisters, he thinks he can hear Charlotte shout out, "Call me sometime, okay?"


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N:** Lioness Black mentioned that she noticed a few age discrepancies in the fic. To explain, I'm working from ages outlined in the earlier BSC books. David Michael turned eight while Karen was still six, so there is just a bit more than a year age difference between them. At some point in the year, he would be 15 while Karen is still 13. They would be in the same grade at school, because Karen skipped a grade. Andrew is two years younger than Karen, which makes him eleven. Emily Michelle is between a year and a year and a half younger than Andrew, which would make her nine or ten, depending on which month each of them was born in. I've decided to make her ten. I hope this makes sense.

Karen grumps around the house the day after the party, feeling extremely sorry for herself. Kristy had freaked out in the car about responsibility and punctuality, and honked the horn repeatedly to get her point across. Karen sat with her arms crossed, mostly ignoring what Kristy had to say. _Daddy surely won't go through with that punishment_, Karen thought when Kristy announced that she'd have to prove herself by cleaning all of the bathrooms at the house once a week for a month, and coming home right after school every day until June.

Karen was very close to being right. "I think that's a little harsh," Watson told Kristy when she suggested the sentence to him.

Kristy stood her ground, and squared her shoulders. "Watson," she said firmly, "if you don't teach Karen early that there are consequences to breaking curfew, imagine the problems you'll have when she's older and wants more freedom. Remember Sam?" She paused to let Watson think about this.

Watson groaned a little. The headaches of so many late nights that he had spent waiting for his stepson to come in from a party came crashing back and pulsing behind his temples. "I think you're right about this one."

Of course, Kristy gloated. _She always does_, Karen thinks as she takes a bottle of toilet cleaner from the hallway closet. She decides not to start cleaning the bathroom she shares with Kristy and Emily Michelle. Instead, she goes down to the family room and throws herself dramatically on one of the couches. Dave and Andrew are in there playing a new video game that Andrew got for Christmas. Karen sighs loudly so that they'll hear her over the sound of cars crashing into each other.

Andrew wins the round, and Dave throws down his controller and tackles the younger boy. They playfully spar for a few minutes before noticing Karen.

Dave rubs his index finger against his thumb. "Do you hear that Karen? I'm playing Nobody Knows The Sorrow for you on the world's smallest violin." He knows it's a cheesy thing to say, but he also knows that it's the sort of thing that will irritate Karen like a fluffy cat with static electricity in its fur.

Karen sighs melodramatically again. "You don't understand!"

Andrew opens his mouth, closes it, and then bravely says, "I understand. I understand that the sink in my bathroom is clogged, and someone better unclog it today."

Dave is impressed. He never thought that Andrew had it in him to talk back to Karen. As a child, adults had assumed that whatever Karen was doing, Andrew would surely want to tag along because he admired his big sister. That couldn't be further from the truth. Andrew had been scared to death of Karen, and of any consequences that may have come from not following her many dimwitted schemes involving witches. Recently Karen lost some of her hold over Andrew after he had seen Dave and even ten year-old Emily Michelle call her out and tell her off.

Karen ignores him. "You don't understand the nature of _true luv_," she tells the boys. "If I have to be home right after school, how am I going to have a romance with James?"

Dave laughs. "You never would have had a romance with James. All he wants to do is feel you up." He knows that James is going to tell everyone all of the sordid details, and that's why none of the girls at SHS will date him.

Karen throws a pillow from the couch at Dave. "It would have led to luv. Stacey McGill told me so once."

"Stacey McGill once told me that if I wished on a starfish, a hunky lifeguard would fall hopelessly in love with me" Emily Michelle says as she enters the room. "If I had a nickel for every stupid thing Stacey McGill has said about love, I'd buy you a big box of chocolates for Valentine's Day. Come on Andrew, Dad's going to drive us to Alicia Gianelli's birthday party." As the baby of the family, Emily Michelle is ballsy and acts older than her age from growing up with so many siblings who are much older than her. She never backs down from an argument with Karen, and that is the main source of tension between the sisters. Karen sits up straight and snaps around, hoping to deliver a scathing remark to Emily Michelle.

Instead, she yells, "Why are you wearing my Hello Kitty t-shirt? That's _my_ Hello Kitty t-shirt!"

"You outgrew it" Emily Michelle smirks. "Besides it looks better on me than on you. The anime trend does nothing for you, Karen. At least I'm Asian."

"Just because you're adopted doesn't mean you can steal my clothes!" Karen argues a bit incoherently. "That shirt makes me look like I've filled out! I want it back."

Emily laughs. "Filled out? You have no boobs!"

Andrew decides that this sisterly fight is just too much fun to keep out of. He quickly calls out, "That's not what James Hobart said!" and looks at the floor.

Karen's pale face goes red with anger. Her eyes flash, and she's not sure who she wants to hit first, Andrew or Emily. The decision is made for her when Dave says, "Nah, I bet James Hobart said that the Kleenex wasn't fooling anyone." She leaps from the couch, and lunges at him from behind, smacking him across the face and pulling his hair. _Nobody humiliates Karen Brewer without taking a beating_! she thinks.

"If you tell anyone that, I'll tell Elizabeth about the condoms in your room!" Karen screeches. Dave chuckles a little to himself. Karen is too weak to hurt him with her slaps, and his mom knows that the condoms came from a health class some time last year. She saw him and Linny using unlubricated ones as water balloons last summer.

"Whatever" says Emily Michelle. She motions to Andrew. "We better leave, Dad's waiting in the garage."

Karen releases Dave from her weak hold, and chases them out of the room. Dave can hear her yell, "Don't you leave, Emily Michelle. You better change into a different shirt, you hear me?" He knows that Karen is going to squawk around the house for the rest of the day. Maybe it would be a good idea to call Charlotte. He picks up the cordless phone, and heads to the shelf to find the phone book.


	5. Chapter 5

To his great surprise, Charlotte is glad that Dave called. "New Year's Day is always so boring" she says. "Becca and I are going to the movies. You should come along. My dad said that I could drive his car."

Dave is relieved and jealous at the same time. He's glad they won't have to rely on someone to pick them up and drop them off, but envious that Charlotte has her learner's permit already. He'd asked Mom and Watson if he could take Driver's Ed this semester, but they had said no. "It's too difficult and dangerous to learn to drive in the snow" Mom had fretted. Dr. Johanssen had taken the opposite opinion. "We live in Connecticut" she had told Char. "You may as well start out learning to handle snow and ice."

Charlotte notices the silence on the line. "Don't worry," she says. "I'm a good driver, and it's not very icy out. How about I pick you up in half an hour? I have to go get Becca first. You're on McLelland Road, right?"

Dave hangs up, and goes into the kitchen to look for some way to kill twenty minutes. He peels a sticky note off of the pad on the counter to leave a note on the fridge telling Mom and Watson where he went. He's thankful that Becca is going to be coming along so that it's not a date. Dave doesn't know what he'd do if Charlotte had wanted to go on a real date. He likes her, and thinks that she's interesting and fun to talk to, but he doesn't want her to get the wrong idea. He shakes his keys impatiently against his leg. Finally, he hears a horn honk from the road, and throws on his coat.

Becca waves at him from the backseat, and Vanessa opens the passenger door. She slides next to Charlotte to make room for Dave. He buckles himself in and turns around to see who is sitting with Becca. Of course, her hand is in Nick's. Jerry Haney is squeezed into the third seat. Charlotte sees the look of confusion on his face. "They were all at Becca's when I went to pick her up, so I asked them all to come along."

_Oh good, it's not a date_, Dave sighs. Well, except for Nick and Becca. It's still strange for him to see them together.

"We went ice skating, and Mama made us hot chocolate afterwards" says Becca.

"I don't ice skate," says Charlotte, by way of explaining why she hadn't been invited.

Becca taps Dave on the shoulder, and he turns to speak with her. She gestures that she has a secret to tell him, and he leans back so that Becca can whisper in his ear. "We went skating, because Nick and I are trying to set up Vanessa and Jerry."

Dave starts to worry. _So this is a date_! He looks at poetic Vanessa, looking cozy in a velvet coat and some sort of fluffy scarf and then back to Jerry, who is wearing a puffy jacket and a few silver chains. Both boys played for the SHS baseball team last spring until Jerry made Varsity. Dave knows that Jerry has a bit of a reputation as a player, and not in the athletic sense. He didn't see how either Nick or Becca could see a possible match in Vanessa and Jerry. Maybe Vanessa knows this too, and that's why Dave is sitting up front with her and Char instead of Jerry. Besides, if Char thought this was some sort of a triple date, she would have maneuvered it so that he was sitting beside her, right? He relaxes.

"I was thinking of seeing that new romantic comedy," says Vanessa, as they get out of the car at the movie theatre. "The one written all in iambic pentameter. I simply adore iambic pentameter."

"Awww, not a chick flick" moans Nick. "I want to see the remake of Macbeth. If we have to see something in rhyme, I want blood and gore."

Becca pipes in. "I wanted to see the new zombie movie. It looks cheesy, but I love cheesy movies."

"Here's how it's gonna break down, aight?" Jerry says. Dave flinches a little; he hates middle class white kids who use street slang. It sounds so discordant with the slightly backwards style of Stoneybrook. "We's gonna see whateva my baby girl Nessa wants to see, y'all know what I'm sayin'?"

Dave and Nick look at each other. Nick is biting his lip, trying not to laugh. Vanessa and Charlotte start walking ahead so they can gossip about the party, with Jerry slightly behind them, trying to butt into the conversation.

"What were you thinking?" Dave hisses, hoping that Jerry won't hear them. "They go together about as well as…as well as…" _Me and you_, he thinks a little ruefully. "I don't know, Byron and a girl."

"They both like poetry" Nick says a little feebly. His hands flail, trying to make a gesture that implies that there's something, _anything_, that might bring Vanessa and Jerry together. Dave likes the way Nick's gloved fingers fly about hopelessly in the cold air. He needs to look away, so he turns to Becca.

"Rap isn't poetry," Dave says.

"Don't tell anyone this, but Vanessa secretly has a thing for guys with chest hair" Becca offers. "She once had a crush on Burt Reynolds. Jerry's _covered_ in hair."

"Those are pretty weak reasons," Dave says. He disagrees with the idea that everyone should be put into pairs, like Stoneybrook High is some sort of an adolescent Noah's Ark.

"Jerry's on the dance committee with me, and he's an okay guy" says Becca. "I think Vanessa should give him a chance."

Dave doesn't feel like arguing with them. He hates set-ups and thinks that if Vanessa had wanted to date Jerry, she would have asked him herself, or at least she'd walk with him into the theatre instead skipping ahead to whisper secrets to Charlotte.

Things don't get much better in the theatre. Jerry and Nick buy popcorn and drinks for their dates, so Dave decides that maybe he should pay for Charlotte's treats. He doesn't have any intention of making her believe that they're on a date, but he knows how weird teenage girls can get when they're on an outing with boys. He remembers Kristy, who prided herself on being independent, complaining about how Bart always made her pay her own way when he took her out to the batting cages. Karen recently went on a group date, and whined for days after Ricky Torres asked her to go dutch on their meal.

He hands Charlotte a bag of popcorn and a small cola. She starts to reach into her purse. "Let me pay you back for that" she says.

Dave is happy to hear her say that, not because he wants her money, but because it means that she's not getting the wrong idea. "My treat."

"At least let me buy some licorice for us to share" Charlotte offers.

_Share? Maybe she is getting the wrong idea_, Dave frets. His breath catches in his throat.

"I can never eat a whole package of it myself," she explains. "You'd better eat some, or I'll have to throw it out." Dave is able to breathe again. She's just a nice girl, there's no need to be scared.

Meanwhile, Jerry is giving a drink to Vanessa. "I got you a diet cola, girl."

Vanessa turns bright red. Nick gives Jerry a Look. While not overweight, Vanessa is a bit sensitive about her size. From having Kristy's friends around the house while he was growing up, Dave learned that offering a diet cola to a girl who isn't diabetic is one of the biggest insults a guy can make.

"I thought all girls drank diet cola, yo" Jerry apologizes. "I like how you look, Nessa. Don't go losin' that ghetto booty, you hear? I like a bit of junk in the trunk." After a slap to Vanessa's rear end, he starts to head into the cinema. Dave catches a horrified look on both Vanessa and Becca's faces.

The previews have just started, and they all sit down, but end up switching seats. Dave would be embarrassed if they weren't the only people, apart from an elderly couple, in the cinema. Vanessa doesn't want to sit by herself at the end of the aisle, so she switches with Char. Becca doesn't want to sit beside Jerry, so she trades with Vanessa. Nick put his drink in the wrong cup holder, so everyone moves over a seat. Char wants to share her licorice, so she sits beside Dave, who has an empty seat on his left side. They finally settle in, just as the movie is starting.

They're watching the movie Vanessa suggested, and while the film is beautiful to look at, the story itself is insipid and the poetry is dull. Nick is exhausted from the party last night, and starts to fall asleep. There's a scene where a character is being chased down a dark road, and Charlotte gasps. She grabs Dave's hand and squeezes it. Dave gasps, too, but not because the movie is scary. At that point, Nick's head rolls from the back of the chair, and snuggles onto Dave's shoulder. His curly hair tickles Dave's neck. Dave's breathing shallows, and he becomes painfully aroused. He's not sure whether it's the sex scene onscreen, Charlotte's soft hand and apple shampoo, or Nick's hair brushing against one of his more powerful erogenous zones. All he's aware of is the erection straining against his jeans, and the uncomfortable twisting pain in his scrotum. Dave panics, and purposely spills cola on his pants, so that he has a less embarrassing excuse than an erection to throw his jacket onto his lap.

Charlotte looks at him. "Let me help you clean that up" she says, and starts dabbing at his shirt with napkins.

The gentle tapping on his stomach is too much. "Please don't, I'm fine" Dave moans. He can feel himself starting to leak a little into his boxers. Nick's head nuzzles his shoulder, and Dave has to bite the inside of his lip to keep from screaming. He jumps up. Nick slumps over.

"I need to go to the bathroom," he whispers to Charlotte, before dashing out of the cinema. However, Dave doesn't go to the men's room. He rushes past the ticket taker, and leaves the theatre. The cold air makes him shiver, and the wet spot on his pants cools the heat in his groin. He shakes a little, and leans against the wall so that he can have a cigarette. Dave understands all the reasons why he shouldn't smoke, but he doesn't care. Whenever he's sad, or lonely, or confused, the greatest comfort he has is the feeling of that little cylinder in between his fingers or in his mouth. He tries to forget how velvety Nick's warm hair felt against his cool neck in the air-conditioned cinema. Instead, he thinks about the first time he tried smoking.

When he was twelve, Dave was a snoop. If someone left something like a purse or a book lying around, Dave would wait until their back was turned so that he could take a peek. One day during Spring break, Kristy had her friend Mary Anne over. Mary Anne had left her purse in the foyer with her coat, and Dave couldn't resist going through the contents of both. There was nothing interesting in her bag aside from a few tampons, which Dave took and later used the applicators to shoot the cotton pellets at Karen. However, in one of the coat pockets, he found a silver lighter, and a pink plastic case. Curious, he opened it. Inside were two neat rows of vanilla scented cigarettes. He took one out, and lit it, and then hid behind the hydrangea in the front yard so that he could try to smoke it. Dave coughed a few times, but he liked how grown up he felt, even though he was smoking a girly cigarette. Unfortunately, Mary Anne caught him. She had the same idea, to hide behind the hydrangea for a smoke so that Kristy wouldn't catch her. Ever the vigilant babysitter, Mary Anne plucked the cigarette from Dave's hand, stomped it out in the grass, and told him not to smoke again. Inquisitively, Dave asked why she smoked.

Mary Anne sighed. "I don't smoke a lot, just when I'm stressed, or upset, or confused. Like when Dad is being strict, or Logan and I had a bad date, or when Kristy…" Mary Anne tapered off. "But that doesn't mean you should smoke."

That was the day Kristy came out. After she told the family, Dave went outside and found the stomped out cigarette from earlier.

The movie ends, and the others trickle outside. Becca leads a drowsy Nick through the door. Jerry says to Dave, "You shoulda stuck around, man. The ending was _wack_!" Vanessa smiles weakly. Obviously she wouldn't have chosen that word to describe the denouement of an epic poem.

Dave forces a smile as well. Charlotte puts her hand on his shoulder. He resists the urge to shrug it away. "Are you okay?" she asks, and he's touched by her concern.

"It's all good" he lies. "I needed some fresh air. I think I ate too much popcorn." He pushes his floppy hair out of his face, and follows the others to the car, attempting to shake the feeling that maybe Nick _wanted_ to fall asleep on his shoulder.


	6. Chapter 6

Dinner was already over by the time Charlotte drops Dave off at home, so he rummages through the fridge for some leftovers. With a plate of meat loaf and potatoes in his hand, Dave heads toward his room. He has some homework to finish before school starts again in a few days, and he needs something to keep his mind off of what had happened at the theatre. As he walks down the hallway, he notices that Kristy's bedroom door is open. Her bag is on the bed, and she's packing to go back to university.

"Hey" Kristy says, noticing him lingering in the doorway. "What's up?" She takes a baseball from the shelf, and tosses it into the duffle bag.

"How did you know you were gay?" Dave blurts out without thinking.

Kristy looks up at him. "Are you…?"

Dave cuts her off. "No. No. I was just thinking of Byron Pike." He hopes that she doesn't see through his excuse.

Kristy glances at him a little skeptically. Dave almost feels ashamed, because Kristy has this way of looking at him that makes him feel like she knows exactly what he's thinking. Kristy is usually pretty intuitive. She picks up the baseball again, and lightly tosses it toward the ceiling. "First of all, I'm not gay. I'm bisexual."

Dave is embarrassed. In a fairly conservative town like Stoneybrook, that word doesn't come up too often. In fact, he's only heard it in whispers and seen it written on the cover of a magazine under Adam Pike's bed. He's a bit confused, because Kristy doesn't fit the stereotype of a promiscuous co-ed who would slither into anyone's bed after a few too many cheap jello shooters.

Kristy sees right through him again. "I know what you're thinking," she says. "That's why stereotypes are bad. You know what? I like who I like. Remember when I used to say that boys were gross? Some guys are. But some guys are great people. So are some women. If I get along with someone and I like them, who cares? Be friends with who you want, date who you want. Life's too short to spend time with people that you don't like."

Dave takes this advice to heart. He decides to call Nick and see if he wants to meet for hot chocolate in the cafeteria before classes start tomorrow morning.

- - - - - - - -

Dave and Nick meet outside the cafeteria at around seven thirty. The SHS cafeteria recently started selling breakfast between seven and eight, and quite a few students are in the line up with them. They stand silently, in the companionable quiet of two boys who have grown up together.

Dave is busy stuffing his mouth with a bagel and cream cheese when Nick says out of nowhere, "I think Becca and I might…you know."

His mouth dries up, and his tongue can't push the bagel down to his throat. Dave feels like someone bet him that he couldn't eat twelve saltines in thirty seconds. He takes a gulp of hot chocolate. "Oh, really?" He doesn't want to think about Nick and Becca doing it.

"The only problem is, where?" Nick muses. "I was thinking in my room on a day when the triplets are at some sports practice, but Claire has no sense of personal space. She like, doesn't see anything wrong with walking into a room without knocking. Margo pushes a chair against the bathroom door when she's in the shower, so that Claire doesn't just walk in and use the can. She screamed so loud when Claire did it the first time, that you could hear it at the McGills'."

Despite himself, Dave laughs. He tries to keep a mental picture of Margo shrieking at Claire, maybe even dramatically hurling a shampoo bottle at her little sister, while Nick ponders his dilemma.

"And Becca's Aunt Cecelia is always at their house. Someone should find her a date, but the only cranky old man I can think of is Caitlin Lowell's grandpa and he's a bigot."

"Have you seen Caitlin Lowell lately?" James Hobart asks as he sits down beside them. Dave is relieved; Maybe Nick will stop talking about his schemes to bed Becca. "She's a right attractive girl. And so is Mackie. I'd tap them both."

"What about Karen?" Dave asks. He doesn't want James to go near his stepsister again, but he wants to know if James has any plans to try and get to her after her grounding.

"You can tell Karen that if I can find a way to sneak onto the Academy grounds I'll be seeing her again next Wednesday. That girl really knows how to make a guy feel like eating a vegemite sandwich, if you know what I mean." James winks lewdly.

"Awww, fuck off" Dave groans. "Karen's total jailbait, and you know it."

The boys continue their conversation as they walk down the hallway. James is arguing that just because a girl wears a training bra, doesn't mean that she doesn't know how to act like a woman. Charlotte and Becca join them, and James finally shuts up. The five of them walk down the hallway, and pause near Byron's locker. Byron and Vanessa are talking, as he writes something on his locker door. It's obvious from the looks on their faces that someone had vandalized Byron's locker again. When he closes it, Dave can see that someone spraypainted "Homo" in pink letters across the door. He feels ashamed that he is part of a student body that condones things like that. As he gets closer, he can see that Byron used a black felt marker to add: "phobia is wrong!" underneath the offensive neon pink word.

They all stand in the hushed understanding that whoever did this wouldn't be caught or punished. Dave gulps. _That could be me if I ever said anything about liking Nick_, he thinks worriedly. He wonders how Byron and Kristy can be so strong, when he would weakly crawl into a corner and deny his feelings.

Sean Addison saunters down the hallway like he owns the place. "If it isn't the Pike brigade. You think your parents would have used a condom after realizing that they made a fag."

"Shut the fuck up," says Charlotte. Dave looks at her, surprised that she would say that. Despite being a successful debater, there are still remnants of the shy Charlotte left, and he can see her hands shake a little and her cheeks redden as she tells Sean off.

"And Char-lesbian Dyke-hanssen, too!" Sean crows. "Now tell me, did you get tall and strong from eating spinach? Or was it all that chowing on box that did it?"

"I knew you tutored seventh graders, but I didn't know that you picked up their sense of humour too," Nick snaps back. He swings his fist and pounds Sean in the face. Becca screams as Sean gets over his initial shock and jumps on top of Nick. Dave stands back in horror, unable to step forward and help his friend. It's almost like he's detached from the action, like he's watching an after school special about diversity.

"Stop it!" Vanessa screams, and she and Becca try to pull Sean off of Nick. "You're hurting him!"

Byron is glued to his spot, and looks like he's about to cry. "You're next, fag!" Sean howls as he punches Nick in the eye.

From across the hallway, Jerry Haney enters the fray. "Y'all better stop that!" he shouts as he hits Sean across the head with a textbook. "Mess with Nessa's crew, and you mess with me, know what I'm sayin'?"

"Please" Byron says softly to Jerry. "Don't do this."

"Jeff and I don't get along, but you're my baby girl's bro" Jerry says. "I got your back, and I can make bygones be bygones and get Jeff's back too, you know what I'm sayin'?"

Charlotte tugs on Dave's sleeve. "Let's go."

Dave is snapped back into reality. "Shouldn't we stay, and do something?"

"I think sticking around will only make it worse," Charlotte says, her face going pale.

Dave finds himself agreeing with her. The longer they stick around, the more people will get pulled into the fight and hurt. He follows her out to the parking lot, and they sit in her dad's car for a while. The bell rings, and they're the only people in the parking lot, aside from a few stragglers who stand in the cold to have a cigarette during study hall.

"Are you, you know…" Dave asks a bit abstractly, fiddling with a pen because he wishes he could have a smoke, too.

"What Sean oh so subtly implied?" Char says a little bitterly. "No. But they all think I am because I don't really date. The last date I went on was with Jeff Schafer before he discovered Byron. That was a year and a half ago, and because I haven't gone out with anyone since I must be a big old dyke! Maybe I just don't want to date guys that I don't like just to be 'popular', because it's a waste of time. It's so stupid, I thought that maybe once I got over my shyness, they'd stop making fun of me like they did in elementary school. But they never stop. They never stopped with Byron, either." Charlotte's chin wobbles, and a tear falls crookedly down her cheek. Dave brushes it away with the back of his hand. Her ruddy cheeks are soft, and he finds himself stroking her face again just to feel it.

"I'm not crying too much, am I?" Charlotte asks.

"No" Dave says softly. He leans toward Charlotte, and he can feel her breath make his eyelashes quiver. He does something that he thought he would never do, and gently presses his lips against hers. He's overcome with guilt for liking Charlotte and Nick, but the feeling washes away when Charlotte touches his hand and kisses him back. They kiss as the snow falls on the empty schoolyard, and Byron stumbles away from school, suspended but triumphant because he bloodied the nose of his tormenter.


End file.
